A Life of Leisure

Readers, it's been a while since I deigned to contact you, but I'm back. I've returned to the U.S. at long last, and I've stopped working, at least for a while. I'm living the life of urban royalty now. Why just yesterday, I:

-beat a tough level on GTA3.
-wrote a record review I hope to get published on Nude as the News.
-bought a new toenail clipper for $0.82.
-read "How to Look at Modern Art" in the sun while sipping iced tea.
-pirated some techno music from the internet.
-ate dinner for $3.63.
-asked a cashier at Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors why they only had 16 flavors. And no Mint Chocolate Chip.