High Fashion

Readers, I present my all-time favorite used t-shirts:

5. Hidden Valley Girl Scout Camp. A nice royal blue with a serene cartoon waterfall on it. A little dangerous to wear in mixed company, or humorless company, or law-enforcement company.
4. Good Times Jail and Prison Ministry, Hawaii. White with a prison door silhouette and a cross. Spiritual.
3. Accu-Air Heating and Cooling. Navy blue, understated, shows my sympathy for the working man.
2. MOI. Pronounced moy, not mwah, it's Hawaiian, not French. It's bright green, and ripped, and has a picture of King Kamehameha on it I forget what it means, but I think I'm supposed to be afraid to wear it around Hawaiian separatists.
1. Incredible Stain Remover. Black t-shirt, orange script, a phone number for somewhere in suburban Detroit on the front, and the number 8 on the back. Pretty much the perfect piece of clothing.

NB: Numbers 5, 4, and 2 come to me courtesy of Ms. June Davids, who keeps my collection fresh and stylish and whose trips to the local swap meet allow me to discard, with a sniffle and a tear, the rankest of my old shirts.