We Need A New Word
We need a new word that means "his or her". I'm tired about talking about a person in the abstract and struggling to find a possessive pronoun. To wit:
"A nurse can't go to the hospital canteen without someone commenting on [insert new word here] outfit."
See my problem? Some people like to solve this condundrum by just picking a gender. In these politically correct times, it seems like writers choose the gender that breaks the stereotype about their subject. In the answer above, they'd put "him" in; when writing about doctors or programmers or people in general, lots of writers stick "her" in. Every time I read that, I stop thinking about the writer's point in to ponder how [insert new word here] gender-labelling decision was made. "One's" works in some contexts, but I shun "one's" and anyone who uses it. It reeks of awkward and inappropriate formality. I'll use "their" if I'm not being careful, but I don't think you can just introduce a plural willy-nilly. "His or her," though a mouthful, actually might work the best.
But I'm not going to settle for whatever happens to work the best right now. Language evolves constantly. If "doh" is in the OED thanks to Homer Simpson, can't I just have this little pronoun? I say yes, and I'm going to do the English language a service by inventing it right here. Acronyms seem to be turning into words all the time (perhaps I'll SCUBA tomorrow)...let's see...Singular Possessive, Gender Neutral. SPONG, or spong. Jackpot!
I hereby declare that spong is a new gender-neutral possessive pronoun, accepted for use in all English communication, written or otherwise.
"A nurse can't go to the hospital canteen without someone commenting on [insert new word here] outfit."
See my problem? Some people like to solve this condundrum by just picking a gender. In these politically correct times, it seems like writers choose the gender that breaks the stereotype about their subject. In the answer above, they'd put "him" in; when writing about doctors or programmers or people in general, lots of writers stick "her" in. Every time I read that, I stop thinking about the writer's point in to ponder how [insert new word here] gender-labelling decision was made. "One's" works in some contexts, but I shun "one's" and anyone who uses it. It reeks of awkward and inappropriate formality. I'll use "their" if I'm not being careful, but I don't think you can just introduce a plural willy-nilly. "His or her," though a mouthful, actually might work the best.
But I'm not going to settle for whatever happens to work the best right now. Language evolves constantly. If "doh" is in the OED thanks to Homer Simpson, can't I just have this little pronoun? I say yes, and I'm going to do the English language a service by inventing it right here. Acronyms seem to be turning into words all the time (perhaps I'll SCUBA tomorrow)...let's see...Singular Possessive, Gender Neutral. SPONG, or spong. Jackpot!
I hereby declare that spong is a new gender-neutral possessive pronoun, accepted for use in all English communication, written or otherwise.
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