Testing the New Picture Upload Utility

It Does Snow in Hawaii

That seems to work.

We Need A New Word

We need a new word that means "his or her". I'm tired about talking about a person in the abstract and struggling to find a possessive pronoun. To wit:

"A nurse can't go to the hospital canteen without someone commenting on [insert new word here] outfit."

See my problem? Some people like to solve this condundrum by just picking a gender. In these politically correct times, it seems like writers choose the gender that breaks the stereotype about their subject. In the answer above, they'd put "him" in; when writing about doctors or programmers or people in general, lots of writers stick "her" in. Every time I read that, I stop thinking about the writer's point in to ponder how [insert new word here] gender-labelling decision was made. "One's" works in some contexts, but I shun "one's" and anyone who uses it. It reeks of awkward and inappropriate formality. I'll use "their" if I'm not being careful, but I don't think you can just introduce a plural willy-nilly. "His or her," though a mouthful, actually might work the best.

But I'm not going to settle for whatever happens to work the best right now. Language evolves constantly. If "doh" is in the OED thanks to Homer Simpson, can't I just have this little pronoun? I say yes, and I'm going to do the English language a service by inventing it right here. Acronyms seem to be turning into words all the time (perhaps I'll SCUBA tomorrow)...let's see...Singular Possessive, Gender Neutral. SPONG, or spong. Jackpot!

I hereby declare that spong is a new gender-neutral possessive pronoun, accepted for use in all English communication, written or otherwise.

Me and the Children

It's been a weekend for new infant and toddler friends.

Episode 1: Our front yard, Friday afternoon. Frank, Srita, and her daughter Kailani come over after work on Friday for a picnic and a swim. Kailani starts out too afraid to give me a hug or even a high-five, but the ice starts to break when I get her a guava juice from the fridge. After eating and badmintoning, we go down to the water. The adults start talking to a prospective neighbor, Kailani comes over to me. I learn she's not four, she's four-and-a-half. She picks up a big pile of dried seed pods and brings them over to where we're sitting on the rocks. She shows me that if you rub the seeds on the lava rock, they'll start to fray. I profess to be interested, and rub some seeds on the rocks myself. This is very fun, and soon we're planting seeds right in the lava rock. Then Kailani tells me that she's my kitty and starts crawling all over the lava rock. She hides and finds seeds and tells me to call for her. I'm flattered by the attention, but I soon claim a need to go the bathroom and I return to the yard. In due course, everyone else comes back up from the water, and Kailani beelines right for where I'm sitting playing guitar. She picks some grass for me and informs me that we're going to play "Farmer". She picks grass, I pretend to eat it, she picks more, we go to sleep, we get up the next day, become horses, gallop around, and pick some more grass. The game ends when Srita says it's time to leave, and not even promises of more Farmer and another picnic will raise Kailani's spirits.

Episode 2: Episode 2 is the best. We'll do it last.

Episode 3: Carvalho Park, Hilo, Saturday afternoon. Nanea Wong-Yuen's first birthday luau. We arrive late, and with gifts more appropriate for a five-year-old than a one-year-old. There are approximately 200 people at this party, thrown by Nanea's parents, Eisa's family friends. We're immediately welcomed by the hosts, then we dive into the buffet. Kalua pork, sushi, chicken, desserts, mmmmm. After eating and contracting someone to come trim our coconut trees, we're out of things to do. We sit down near a baby stroller that's being pushed around by a small child. The child gives us a flower then runs off, leaving us with a pudgy little Japanese baby. I proceed to make funny faces at the baby for the next 30 minutes, inducing toothless smiles and overall-soaking drool. The baby is adorable, all unblinking stare and top pony-tail. She especially likes it when I turn my head so far to the side that it's almost upside down. Her dad comes by and reclaims her, maybe a little worried for the baby's safety. On the way out of the party, I play three-on-three basketball in barefeet, much to the chagrin of my soles.

Episode 2, revisted: Bayfront Park, Hilo, Saturday midday, Eisa's cousin Koa Colton's u-14 soccer game. After a scorching first half of watching from the bleachers in the sun, we move to a more removed but shady spot for the second half. I smile at a three-year-old girl next to us when I sit down. She smiles back and then tries to hide under her blanket, even though it's lying flat on the ground. I turn my attention to the game. A few minutes later, Eisa elbows me and tells me to look to my right. The little girl has been standing there for a few minutes, trying to get my attention. She's holding a bouquet of clover and grass out to me, freshly ripped from the ground. She gives it to me, and then runs away. I don't know what to do, so I take it and smile and ask her name and hold onto it after she runs away.

It might be the first time I've ever received flowers from a girl.